someone stole my shoes!!!
2005-05-26 // 6:43 p.m.
ive felt dead these past few months. and i think i reallie have been. ive had all this shit dumped on top of me. n i feel like i cannot deal with it all. actuallie i can't deal with any of it. its my fault u noe. it always is. its cos i have this tendency to let everything pile on top of each othr in my mind n be incubated by the heat up ther constantly reminding me tt thers something wrong. and i never deal with it. i never deal with any of it. n i prolly wont deal with any of it anymore.
i feel like i shulda been dead long ago n tt god just has me here for his/her comic relief. i cant take it anymore. its not like im gonna commit suicide. im "responsible" to do shit like tt. thers always something out ther to stop you, always something tt makes u think tt maybe i'l kill myself tml cos its fun today.
then a second aftr tt proclamation the happy thing dies n then ure baq to ure sad lil life again!!!?
how hurtful rite?! dunt u feel so betrayed by the fun, happy thing. dunt u feel cheated outta some fun in ure life. some niceness.
but who cares anymore. life is life. it was always crap n it always will be.
u noe ive taken a liking to listening to beauty and the beast songs. veri soothing for tai chi! lil mermaid songs work too. but lil mermaid ONE songs onlie.
umm...yah. okie i mite not even come baq. but in case i do let me leave myself a happy tone to come baq to.
SOCA ROCKS!!!! oh n chutney too. n rock. n reggae. n hindi songs. n remixes. n hip hop. n some rap. n bhangra. n dancehall. n r&b. n indie. n blues. n jazz. n eurodance. n chutney soca. n punk. n emo. n garage. n coolie riddims. n metal. got alot tt i cannot rmb rite now! but basically everything cept pop n country!!